Foundations

Decisions about parenting are based on values and goals. We parents guide our children toward the sort of adults we hope they become. We try to manage the sort of exposure they experience. This means you are the guides for your children. You are the ones who present the world with one hand on the faucet whenever possible. You are the socializing, supportive, and character-building sources. There are helpers offering to support you in this work – extended family, teachers, friends, bloggers, mentors, authors, researchers, scientists, spiritual supporters, etc., but you need to stay aware of whether the support fits your family as it grows and changes.

Make things work for your family – not all families do everything the same. Also, most families change over time as they learn.

The clue is your general happiness with your family life.  If something is bothering you, it needs attention. Observe what you are noticing, then check in with your partner – in private. We often approach parenting from the perspective of battling our own dragons from the past, as well as the deep values and beliefs that we think are universal.  Conversations with your partner will help you get to the core issues and make agreements.

If you are parenting on your own, find ways to support your self-reflection as you get clear, or perhaps enlist someone trustworthy to help you think things through.

Solid discussions about difficult topics are key to setting up your foundation for helping your children. Your values, your self-awareness, your goals are all part of the picture. They are your starting point.