“Try again,” is often how we approach situations when the result is not what we desired, as in the saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
However, there are two steps before trying again that make all the difference. First, it is important to analyze what went well and what needs changing. Then, make a plan for corrections that does not compromise the parts that work well. Then try again.
Sounds simple, but behind these steps are component skills that many of us need support and coaching to master. Calming oneself when disappointed can take time. Even finding the initiative to begin again can be hard. So can breaking down situations into component parts (analysis) to know what needs fixing, as well as being kind to oneself for what is going well.
It will be important for you to take the time and notice how you do these things. Find ways to break the process down for your children so you are ready to support them in their trickier moments, especially when they want to give up. Help them see the key point, such as where the hole is when we wrap around for tying shoes. And be prepared for the times when when they stubbornly approach things in the same way. Sometimes it is good to let them keep going, but watch for the time when they need a break. It is a coaching moment.
Ask if they want to talk it over with you. Help them discover where they are stuck. It could be internal chatter slowing them down or an incorrect analysis of things.
Learning these skills with the support of someone is key to becoming good at problem-solving. Problem-solving skills are important for developing the character traits of self-regulation, resilience, perseverance, determination, and objectivity.
Revise the old saying: “If at first you don’t succeed, analyze, plan, then try again.” Admittedly, it is not as poetic or elegant, but it will be more effective.
Long-range parenting 