Lots of us are at home right now, adjusting our spaces to accommodate at-home learning. As many of you know, I am a Montessori 3-6 teacher, tutor, and parent coach. My guidance will likely show that perspective, but it is my hope that this series of posts can help anyone who is creating a learning environment, especially one for children. The last post in the series will add information for supporting teens and adults in a learning community.
(If we are lucky, my sister, an experienced home-schooler, will allow me to include her perspective in this series as well.)
Begin with Yourself
Pay attention to your impact – monitor the weather you are making around you.
Take care of your body and mind. Drink water. Eat. Exercise somehow. Get rid of that annoying tag in your shirt. Have things you enjoy. Plowing ahead while feeling uncomfortable uses up glucose stores that you need for logical and compassionate leadership – ok for a few minutes, but wrap up quickly and replenish.
Prepare the environment for yourself too. You need your own storage spaces, a locked cabinet for unsafe items, organized tools and papers, easily accessed resources, etc.
Watch over-correction habits. See if you are just being picky. Also, if you are keeping yourself busy reminding or correcting, you need to prioritize which items need fixing the most, call a family meeting, and present the situation for group discussion and solutions, including what should happen if someone forgets to follow the agreements.
Allow the children to have productive exploration, extensions, and variations on activities, but monitor for times you may need to step in, preferably gently.
Take notes and observe – step back and really watch – then decide and respond. Taking notes keeps you focused and provides real data about their learning and behavior. You will be in awe.
Delight in this community you are part of – notice the good things happening.
Compassion – create patience, use a kinder tone, set firm guidance when needed, remember the power of emotions and discomfort to affect behavior. (*see above) We all do better when we feel better. Shame and guilt usually don’t help. Calming down and finding solutions usually do. (Dr. Jane Nelsen)
Remember to support the growth mindset. How you communicate tells people whether you have faith in them or not. An occasional admiring outburst of affection and praise is great, but too often can make children look outside of themselves for validation. Putting out effort, noticing skill growth, observing progress, and setting goals keep people encouraged and engaged for the long run, and most people love to talk about them.
Rescuing them from failures can also lead them to rely on others instead of learning the true self-esteem of conquering a challenge or correcting a mistake. Though there are some mistakes that need us to step in and help, most mistakes can be managed with a little guidance.
If the child is concentrating, and there is no danger – DO NOT INTERRUPT. You will compromise the learning that is happening.
(Even if they forgot something. Show them later if it is really necessary.)
(Even if you want to tell them how good they are doing. You can tell them how impressed you are over dinner.)
Long-range parenting 